DON’T HOPE,…DECIDE!

February 17, 2012

Here is another exceptional article which shows the importance of really paying attention and showing those around us that we love them. Life is short! Take time to smell the flowers, notice the sun rise, sun set, the needs of your next door neighbors, your relatives, that lonely clerk in the office who everyone ignores and the janitor whom no one can remember his name.  Although Islamicaly kissing one’s wife in public is not allowed, this article shows the beauty of really paying attention to our loved ones and making, and keeping eye contact, listening to what someone is saying.. learning that our computer program, project  or chore is not more important that a few minutes of undivided attention.  Minutes pass us by like water in a river,,, it will never come back again.  Do not live your life in such a way that when you are older you wish you had said, done, shown, expressed, played a board game, read a book together, taken that momentous decision that you are afraid of.. Life is risk and chances and Allah asks us to make all of our efforts a worship… Start all of our actions with Bismillah and smile at your brother,, lend that helping hand.. “Pay it Forward.”

Dont Hope– Decide!

Muslim Couple

From PhotoBucket

- By Michael D. Hargrove and Bottom Line Underwriters, Inc.

While waiting to pick up a friend at the airport in Portland, Oregon, I had one of those life-changing experiences that you hear other people talk about — the kind that sneaks up on you unexpectedly. This one occurred a mere two feet away from me.

Straining to locate my friend among the passengers deplaning through the jet way, I noticed a man coming toward me carrying two light bags. He stopped right next to me to greet his family.

First he motioned to his youngest son (maybe six years old) as he laid down his bags. They gave each other a long, loving hug. As they separated enough to look in each other’s face, I heard the father say, “It’s so good to see you, son. I missed you so much!” His son smiled somewhat shyly, averted his eyes and replied softly, “Me, too, Dad!”

Then the man stood up, gazed in the eyes of his oldest son (maybe nine or ten) and while cupping his son’s face in his hands said, “You’re already quite the young man. I love you very much, Zach!” They too hugged a most loving, tender hug.

 While this was happening, a baby girl (perhaps one or one-and-a-half) was squirming excitedly in her mother’s arms, never once taking her little eyes off the wonderful sight of her returning father. The man said, “Hi, baby girl!” as he gently took the child from her mother. He quickly kissed her face all over and then held her close to his chest while rocking her from side to side. The little girl instantly relaxed and simply laid her head on his shoulder, motionless in pure contentment.

After several moments, he handed his daughter to his oldest son and declared, “I’ve saved the best for last!” and proceeded to give his wife the longest, most passionate kiss I ever remember seeing. He gazed into her eyes for several seconds and then silently mouthed. “I love you so much!” They stared at each other’s eyes, beaming big smiles at one another, while holding both hands.

For an instant they reminded me of newlyweds, but I knew by the age of their kids that they couldn’t possibly be. I puzzled about it for a moment then realized how totally engrossed I was in the wonderful display of unconditional love not more than an arm’s length away from me. I suddenly felt uncomfortable, as if I was invading something sacred, but was amazed to hear my own voice nervously ask, “Wow! How long have you two been married?

 “Been together fourteen years total, married twelve of those.” he replied, without breaking his gaze from his lovely wife’s face. “Well then, how long have you been away?” I asked. The man finally turned and looked at me, still beaming his joyous smile. “Two whole days!”

 Two days? I was stunned. By the intensity of the greeting, I had assumed he’d been gone for at least several weeks – if not months. I know my expression betrayed me.

I said almost offhandedly, hoping to end my intrusion with some semblance of grace (and to get back to searching for my friend), “I hope my marriage is still that passionate after twelve years!”

 The man suddenly stopped smiling.

 He looked me straight in the eye, and with forcefulness that burned right into my soul, he told me something that left me a different person. He told me, “Don’t hope, friend… decide!” Then he flashed me his wonderful smile again, shook my hand and said, “God bless!”


Beautiful Muslim Marriages: Righteous Wives

January 23, 2012

Most of the post I put up are pretty good, or I would not post them but once in a while I come across one which really means alot and just seems to cover so many points with necessary and accurate information that I wish I had a million sites to upload it to.  This is one such article.  It really covers many points related to the relationship between husbands and wives.  I hope that it offers many answers for those who need this information for their daughters, sisters and even for making their own marriages better by following the sunnah.  May Allah reward this author.


Marriage in Islam

In Islam, marriage is a blessed contract between a man and a woman, in which each becomes “permitted” to the other, and they begin the long journey of life in a spirit of love, co-operation, harmony and tolerance, where each feels at ease with the other, and finds tranquility, contentment and comfort in the company of the other. The Qur’aan has described this relationship between men and women, which brings love, harmony, trust and compassion, in the most moving and eloquent terms:

(And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts] . . . (Qur’aan 30:21)

This is the strongest of bonds, in which Allah (subhaanahu wa ‘ta’aalaa) unites the two Muslim partners, who come together on the basis of love, understanding, co-operation and mutual advice, and establish a Muslim family in which children will live and grow up, and they will develop the good character and behavior taught by Islam. The Muslim family is the strongest component of a Muslim society when its members are productive and constructive, helping and encouraging one another to be good and righteous, and competing with one another in good works.

The righteous woman is the pillar, cornerstone and foundation of the Muslim family. She is seen as the greatest joy in a man’s life, as the Prophet (SAW) said:

“This world is just temporary conveniences, and the best comfort in this world is a righteous woman.”1

A righteous woman is the greatest blessing that Allah (subhaanahu wa ‘ta’aalaa) can give to a man, for with her he can find comfort and rest after the exhausting struggle of earning a living. With his wife, he can find incomparable tranquility and pleasure.

How can a woman be the best comfort in this world? How can she be a successful woman, true to her own femininity, and honored and loved? This is what will be explained in the following pages:

She chooses a good husband

One of the ways in which Islam has honored woman is by giving her the right to choose her husband. Her parents have no right to force her to marry someone she dislikes. The Muslim woman knows this right, but she does not reject the advice and guidance of her parents when a potential suitor comes along, because they have her best interests at heart, and they have more experience of life and people. At the same time, she does not forego this right because of her father’s wishes that may make him force his daughter into a marriage with someone she dislikes.

There are many texts that support the woman in this sensitive issue, for example the report quoted by Imam Al-Bukhaari from al-Khansa’ bint Khidam:

“My father married me to his nephew, and I did not like this match, so I complained to the Messenger of Allah (SAW) . He said to me: ‘Accept what your father has arranged.’ I said, ‘I do not wish to accept what my father has arranged.’ He said, ‘Then this marriage is invalid, go and marry whomever you wish.’ I said, ‘I have accepted what my father has arranged, but I wanted women to know that fathers have no right in their daughter’s matters (i.e. they have no right to force a marriage on them).’”2

At first, the Prophet (SAW) told al-Khansa’ to obey her father, and this is as it should be, because the concern of fathers for their daughters’ well being is well known. But when he realized that her father wanted to force her into a marriage she did not want, he gave her the freedom to choose, and saved her from the oppression of a father who wanted to force her into an unwanted marriage.

Islam does not want to impose an unbearable burden on women by forcing them to marry a man they dislike, because it wants marriages to be successful, based on compatibility between the partners; there should be common ground between them in terms of physical looks, attitudes, habits, inclinations and aspirations. If something goes wrong, and the woman feels that she cannot love her husband sincerely, and fears that she may commit the sin of disobeying and opposing this husband whom she does not love, then she may ask for a divorce. This is confirmed by the report in which the wife of Thabit ibn Qays ibn Shammas, Jamilah the sister of ‘Abdullah ibn Ubayy, came to the Prophet (SAW) and said: “O Messenger of Allah (SAW), I have nothing against Thabit ibn Qays as regards his religion or his behavior, but I hate to commit any act of kufr when I am a Muslim. The Prophet (SAW) said: “Will you give his garden back to him?” – her mahr had been a garden. She said, “Yes.” So the Messenger of Allah (SAW) sent word to him: “Take back your garden, and give her one pronouncement of divorce.”3

According to a report given by Al-Bukhaari from Ibn ‘Abbas, she said, “I do not blame Thabit for anything with regard to his religion or his behavior, but I do not like him.”

Islam has protected woman’s pride and humanity, and has respected her wishes with regard to the choice of a husband with whom she will spend the rest of her life. It is not acceptable for anyone, no matter who he is, to force a woman into a marriage with a man she does not like. Read the rest of this entry »


Beauty of Hijab

January 15, 2012

Do not Be Sad

October 28, 2011

 So do not become weak [against your enemy, nor be sad... (Quran 3: 139)

 And grieve not over them, and be not distressed because of what they plot.(Quran 16: 127)

 Be not sad, surely Allah is with us. (Quran 9: 40)

 Referring to true believers, Allah informs us that:

Upon such shall come no fear, nor shall they grieve. (Quran 2: 38)

Sadness enervates the souls will to act and paralyzes the body into inactivity. Sadness prevents one from action instead of compelling one towards it. The heart benefits nothing through grief the most beloved thing to the Devil is to make the worshiper sad in order to prevent him from continuing on his path.

Allah, the Exalted, says:

 *Secret counsels [conspiracies] are only from Shaytaan [Satan], in order that he may cause grief to the believers. (Quran 58: 10)

In the following hadith, the Prophet (bpuh) said:

 ”In a company of three, it is forbidden for two to hold secret counsel to the exclusion of the third, since doing so will be a cause of sadness for him.”

 Contrary to what some believe (those who have an extreme ascetic bent); the believer should not seek out sadness, because sadness is a harmful condition that afflicts the soul.The Muslim must repel sadness and fight it in any way that is permissible in our Religion.

 There is no real benefit to sadness; the Prophet (bpuh) sought refuge from it in the following supplication: “O Allah, I seek refuge in you from anxiety and grief.”

Grief is coupled with anxiety in this hadith. The difference between the two is that if a bad feeling is related to what is going to happen in the future. Then one is feeling anxiety. And if the cause of this feeling concerns the past, then one is feeling grief both of them weaken the heart, causing inactivity and a decrease in will power. Read the rest of this entry »


Fasting In the First Nine Days of Dhul Hijjah

October 28, 2011

عن هنيدة ابن خالد عن امرأته عن بعض أزواج النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قالت “كان رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم يصوم تسع ذي الحجة ، ويوم عاشوراء ، وثلاثة أيام من كل شهر : أول اثنين من الشهر وخميسين “صحيح أبو داود وصحيح النسائى

Hunaydah ibn Khaalid narrated upon the authority of his wife who said: “Some of the wives of the Prophet sallAllaahu 3Alayhi wa sallam told me that the Prophet sallAllaahu 3Alayhi wa sallam used to fast the Day of 3Aashoorah, the first nine days of Dhul-Hijjah, and three days out of every month*….” (1)

(*13th, 14th, and 15th of every month)

Imaam An-Nawwawee said with reference to fasting the first nine days of Dhul-Hijjah: “It is extremely preferable to do so”.

Shaykh 3Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy upon him) was asked about fasting the first [nine] days of Dhul-Hijjah?

He replied: “Fasting the first [nine] of Dhul-Hijjah is from the righteous actions without doubt. And the Prophet sallAllaahu 3Alayhi wa sallam said,“There are not any days in which righteous actions are done that are more beloved to Allaah than these ten days.” They said, “Oh Messenger of Allaah, not even jihaad in Allaah’s cause?”

He said: “Not even jihaad in Allaah’s cause,Except for a man who left out with his self and his wealth, and he did not return with either.”

So fasting is included in the general context of this hadeeth. And there appears a hadeeth stating that the Messenger of Allaah sallAllaahu 3Alayhi wa sallam used to fast the first ten of Dhul-Hijjah, not counting the 3Eed [in other words, the first nine days of Dhul-Hijjah]. Read the rest of this entry »


~A Revert Story to Remember~

September 29, 2011
Faisal mosque

Image via Wikipedia

 My name is Cassie, I am 23 years old. I graduated as a qualified nurse this year and was given my first position as a home nurse.

 My patient was an English gentleman in his early 80′s who suffered from Alzheimer’s. In the first meeting  with the patient  I was given his record and from it could see that he was a convert to the religion of Islam, therefore he was a Muslim.

I knew from this that I would need to take into account some modes of treatment that may go against his faith, and therefore tried to adapt my care to meet his needs. I brought in some ‘halal’ meat to cook for him and ensured that there was no pork or alcohol in the premises as I did some research which showed that these were forbidden in Islam.

My patient was in a very advanced stage of his condition so a lot of my colleagues could not understand why I was going to so much effort for him, but I understood that a person who commits to a faith deserves that commitment to be respected, even if they are not in a position to understand.

Anyway, after a few weeks with my patient I began to notice some patterns of movement. At first I thought it was some copied motion he’s seen someone do, but I saw him repeat the movement at particular times; morning, afternoon, evening.

The movements were to raise his hands, bow and then put his head to the ground. I could not understand it. He was also repeating sentences in another language, I couldn’t figure out what language it was as his speech was slurred but I know the same verses were repeated daily. Also there was something strange, he didnt allow me to feed him with my left hand {I am lefthanded}.

Somehow I knew this linked to his religion but didn’t know how. Read the rest of this entry »


Ten Minutes and Thirty Nine Seconds to Change Your Life

September 24, 2011

As-salaamalikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakato,

Subhanallah I just got an email with this link at this time of the morning and the 10 min and 39 secs had a profound impact on me. We should keep this video and review it every so often (perhaps even weekly or monthly) to remind us what and where our ultimate destination will be. It is a good video for us ladies as we do not visit the graves!

I have been so busy purchasing household items at the moment and trying to make my villa “cozy”. We have been living in an empty shell for two and half years with bear minimum: enough to keep us going, not enough to have that cozy feeling though. I am nesting, but my main intention is to ensure that when my family visit (when the baby arrives insha’allah) they are comfortable in my home and will leave with a feeling of not wishing to.

I (cannot speak for you all) do forget in the normal hum drum of life the things I should be really preparing for. My ultimate permanent abode: I lack in this in so many ways. This video has come on a day when I had to witness so much fitnah on national day riding through Riyadh tonight (may Allah guide all the people I saw today). The music and dancing etc was just so alien to me now that I have moved away from the UK, but I really found the whole scene intrusive and got a little angry that my children had to witness it! May Allah protect us and our children.

This video will definitively move you.

I pray that you all use your time and energies to accumulate the good deeds, may Allah accept your deeds, may you do them for His sake only, may you reap the rewards, may He expand your graves until you all rise to meet your Creator. May we help each other as sisters in Islam to remind each other, help each other, guide each other to our Creator and insha’Allah Jannah Firdaws. Ameen

 

Pass this link on to those you know…….it is a great reminder.

 

Love you all

 

Fei Amaan Allah (always and forever)

 

Abidah


Sincerity in Islam: a Sermon by Abu Bakr As-Siddiq

July 15, 2011

From: Quran & Science

A Sermon by Abu Bakr As-Siddiq (radi Allahu anhu) on Sincerity and drawing Lessons

Abu Bakr As-Siddiq (radi Allahu anhu) gave a speech once and started it with praising Allah and thanking Him, then said:

“Verily, Allah does not accept deeds except those which were performed for the Sake of His Face only. Therefore, seek Allah’s Face by your actions. Know that whatever action you do with sincerity to Allah is an act of obedience that you performed, a good share that you earned, a duty that you fulfilled, and a reserve that you keep from perishable days to everlasting days. At that time you will be most in need and in anticipation (for these good deeds).”

 O slaves of Allah! Draw a lesson from those who died before you. Think about those who lived before you. Where were they yesterday? Where are they today? Where are the tyrants who were noted for the wars they waged and earned victories in battle? Time has eliminated them and they disintegrated to dust. The only things that remain from them are their evil statements, and verily, evil statements are for evil people and evil people are for evil statements. Where are the kings who ruled on the earth and inhabited it? They have become a thing of the past and their memory has been forgotten. They have become nothing. Yet, Allah, the Exalted and Most Honored, has kept for them the evil burden of their deeds, but ended their streak of lusts. They perished, but the deeds they committed remained theirs even though the world has become for others. We were created after them, so if we draw lessons from their fate we will attain deliverance. Otherwise, if we were deceived by all of this, we will earn a fate similar to theirs.

 There are the bright faces of those who were deceived on account of their youth? They have turned into dust, but what they committed of shortcomings remained with them as cause for sorrow. Where are those who built cities, fortified them with walls and collected wonders? They left all this for those who came after them; there you see the remains of their cities, they have not been inhabited after them. Meanwhile, they are in the darkness of graves: {“Can you find a single one of them or hear even a whisper of them?”} (19:98)

Where are those whom you knew among your forefathers and brethren? Their lifetimes came to an end and they joined their deeds and actions. They are residing after they died either in the dwelling of happiness or misery.”

 “Verily, Allah is One and has no partners in worship. There is no tie of kinship between Him and any of His creation that warrants granting goodness or fending off evil on account of that kinship. There is only the obedience of Allah and abiding by His Commandments. Know that you are subservient slaves (of Allah) and that what He has can only be earned through obeying Him. Is it not time for one of you that the Fire be taken away from him, while Paradise is not made far from his reach?”

[Al-Bidayah wan-Nihayah, by Al-Hafiz Ibn Kathir, and At-Tarikh, by At-Tabari, vol. 3, p. 311]


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