Most of the post I put up are pretty good, or I would not post them but once in a while I come across one which really means alot and just seems to cover so many points with necessary and accurate information that I wish I had a million sites to upload it to. This is one such article. It really covers many points related to the relationship between husbands and wives. I hope that it offers many answers for those who need this information for their daughters, sisters and even for making their own marriages better by following the sunnah. May Allah reward this author.
Marriage in IslamIn Islam, marriage is a blessed contract between a man and a woman, in which each becomes “permitted” to the other, and they begin the long journey of life in a spirit of love, co-operation, harmony and tolerance, where each feels at ease with the other, and finds tranquility, contentment and comfort in the company of the other. The Qur’aan has described this relationship between men and women, which brings love, harmony, trust and compassion, in the most moving and eloquent terms:
(And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts] . . . (Qur’aan 30:21)
This is the strongest of bonds, in which Allah (subhaanahu wa ‘ta’aalaa) unites the two Muslim partners, who come together on the basis of love, understanding, co-operation and mutual advice, and establish a Muslim family in which children will live and grow up, and they will develop the good character and behavior taught by Islam. The Muslim family is the strongest component of a Muslim society when its members are productive and constructive, helping and encouraging one another to be good and righteous, and competing with one another in good works.
The righteous woman is the pillar, cornerstone and foundation of the Muslim family. She is seen as the greatest joy in a man’s life, as the Prophet (SAW) said:
“This world is just temporary conveniences, and the best comfort in this world is a righteous woman.”1
A righteous woman is the greatest blessing that Allah (subhaanahu wa ‘ta’aalaa) can give to a man, for with her he can find comfort and rest after the exhausting struggle of earning a living. With his wife, he can find incomparable tranquility and pleasure.
How can a woman be the best comfort in this world? How can she be a successful woman, true to her own femininity, and honored and loved? This is what will be explained in the following pages:
She chooses a good husband
One of the ways in which Islam has honored woman is by giving her the right to choose her husband. Her parents have no right to force her to marry someone she dislikes. The Muslim woman knows this right, but she does not reject the advice and guidance of her parents when a potential suitor comes along, because they have her best interests at heart, and they have more experience of life and people. At the same time, she does not forego this right because of her father’s wishes that may make him force his daughter into a marriage with someone she dislikes.
There are many texts that support the woman in this sensitive issue, for example the report quoted by Imam Al-Bukhaari from al-Khansa’ bint Khidam:
“My father married me to his nephew, and I did not like this match, so I complained to the Messenger of Allah (SAW) . He said to me: ‘Accept what your father has arranged.’ I said, ‘I do not wish to accept what my father has arranged.’ He said, ‘Then this marriage is invalid, go and marry whomever you wish.’ I said, ‘I have accepted what my father has arranged, but I wanted women to know that fathers have no right in their daughter’s matters (i.e. they have no right to force a marriage on them).’”2
At first, the Prophet (SAW) told al-Khansa’ to obey her father, and this is as it should be, because the concern of fathers for their daughters’ well being is well known. But when he realized that her father wanted to force her into a marriage she did not want, he gave her the freedom to choose, and saved her from the oppression of a father who wanted to force her into an unwanted marriage.
Islam does not want to impose an unbearable burden on women by forcing them to marry a man they dislike, because it wants marriages to be successful, based on compatibility between the partners; there should be common ground between them in terms of physical looks, attitudes, habits, inclinations and aspirations. If something goes wrong, and the woman feels that she cannot love her husband sincerely, and fears that she may commit the sin of disobeying and opposing this husband whom she does not love, then she may ask for a divorce. This is confirmed by the report in which the wife of Thabit ibn Qays ibn Shammas, Jamilah the sister of ‘Abdullah ibn Ubayy, came to the Prophet (SAW) and said: “O Messenger of Allah (SAW), I have nothing against Thabit ibn Qays as regards his religion or his behavior, but I hate to commit any act of kufr when I am a Muslim. The Prophet (SAW) said: “Will you give his garden back to him?” – her mahr had been a garden. She said, “Yes.” So the Messenger of Allah (SAW) sent word to him: “Take back your garden, and give her one pronouncement of divorce.”3
According to a report given by Al-Bukhaari from Ibn ‘Abbas, she said, “I do not blame Thabit for anything with regard to his religion or his behavior, but I do not like him.”
Islam has protected woman’s pride and humanity, and has respected her wishes with regard to the choice of a husband with whom she will spend the rest of her life. It is not acceptable for anyone, no matter who he is, to force a woman into a marriage with a man she does not like. Read the rest of this entry »
Posted by SAKINA AND SARA 
The Rights and Duties of Women in Islam
August 29, 2010Issues in which men and women are treated alike or women are treated favorably.
This article discusses issues that carry little or no controversy.
1. Education
The Messenger of Allah (p.b.u.h.) once said: “Acquiring knowledge is compulsory for every Muslim. (At-Tabarani)
This narration applies equally to men and women. “Knowledge” in this context refers primarily to knowledge of the Holy Quran and Sunnah as no Muslim should be ignorant of his or her Faith, but it also covers other areas of general education, which can contribute to the welfare of civilization. It is precisely the ignorance about their religion among Muslims that has led to men oppressing women because they believe it is permitted, women not demanding their God-given rights because they are ignorant of them, and children growing up to perpetuate their parents’ follies. Throughout Islamic history, men and women both earned respect as scholars and teachers of the Faith. The books of Rijal (Reporters of Hadith) contain the names of many prominent women, beginning with Aishah and Hafsah.
2. Worship
Both men and women are the servants of Allah and have a duty to worship and obey Him. Men and women have to pray, fast, give charity, go on pilgrimage, refrain from adultery, avoid the prohibited, enjoin the good and forbid the evil, and so on. Because of women’s roles as mothers, a role which does not end at a specific time but is a round the-clock career, they have been exempted from attending the Mosque for the five daily prayers or for Jumuah (Friday) prayer. Nevertheless, if they wish to attend the Mosque, no one has the right to stop them.
3. Charitable Acts
Men and women are both encouraged to give charity, and there is nothing to stop a woman giving charity from her husband’s income. Aishah reported that the Messenger of Allah said: “A woman will receive reward (from Allah) even when she gives charity from her husband’s earnings. The husband and the treasurer (who keeps the money on the husband’s behalf) will also be rewarded, without the reward of any of them decreasing.” Asmaa once said to the Prophet “O Messenger of Allah, I have nothing except what Zubair (her husband) brings home.” The Prophet told her: ‘O Asmaa give in charity. Don’t lock it lest your subsistence is locked.’”
4. The Right to Own Wealth and Property
A woman has the right to keep her property or wealth, whether earned or inherited, and spend it as she may please.
This right was granted to Western women only very recently, and the women of India had to wait until 1956 for a right which Muslim women have always taken for granted. Concerning the right to one’s earnings, the Holy Quran says:
“And wish not for the things in which Allah has made some of you excel the others. For men there is reward for what they have earned, (and likewise) for women there is reward for what they have earned, and ask Allah of His Bounty. Surely, Allah is Ever All-Knower of everything.” (V. 4:32)
5. Freedom to Express One’s Opinion
Few societies exist in which the ordinary citizen can confront the ruler face to face and challenge his policies. Even fewer societies allow women to be so bold, yet the Islamic ideal has always been open and accessible. This freedom of expression is aptly demonstrated by a famous incident involving Omar the second Rightly- Guided Caliph. Omar was once standing on the pulpit, severely reprimanding the people and ordering them not to set excessive amounts of dower at the time of marriage. A woman got up and shouted, “Omar, you have no right to intervene in a matter which Allah the All-Mighty has already decreed in Quran:
“But if you intend to replace a wife by another and you have given one of them a Qintar (of gold, i.e., a great amount as Mahr bridal money), take not the least bit of it back; would you take it wrongfully without a right and (with) a manifest sin?” (V.4:20)
After being reminded of this Verse, Omar withdrew his order, saying, “I am in the wrong and she is correct.” Read the rest of this entry »
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