ANGER: NOT WORTH IT

September 28, 2008

Anger Management Tip: Stop Arguments and Frustration Before They Start

FistWe’ve all had those moments when even the smallest things seem to be frustrating enough to cause a bad day. Perhaps the day started with a rude cashier, someone cutting you off in traffic, or by spilling coffee on that white shirt or blouse.

As I type this very article, I am interrupted every minute or so by the sounds of stomping from the family in the apartment above us.

Apparently, when these apartments were repaired after Hurricane Katrina, the contractors did not insulate well at all. As a result, we can hear almost everything that goes on upstairs. It’s hard not to get frustrated at the family itself.

Today, I’ll share with you a simple approach to stop fights, arguments, and frustrations before they begin. A secret I recently discovered in a fabulous book I’m reading. If implemented properly, this tip could potentially salvage relationships, return peace and happiness to your home, and help you become happier and less stressed.

The source of most anger and frustration

Have you ever given thought to just how arguments and fights begin? The majority of the time it all starts over something really petty. Here’s an example of a simple comment escalating in our own household.

Charlene:

I wish you’d learn to pick your clothes up off the floor

Me:

I will when you start cooking

Charlene:

I work on my feet all day long while you lay on the couch with the computer and the chihuahua and now you want me to cook every night!

Now, I feel insulted, she feels insulted, and the chihuahua is running for cover. If the argument is really good we might even start insulting each others’ mother.

So what’s the big secret to diffusing the situation before it gets carried away? The trick is not to worry about the unimportant things.

Don’t sweat the small stuff..

Undoubtedly, you’ve heard that phrase before. There are countless books with the same title. All meant to encourage you to be more positive and not to worry about the small things that make up a large amount of our anger and frustration.

I’ve only browsed through those books briefly, but I did find a similar answer to life’s frustrations in the book The Magic of Thinking Big by Dr. David Schwartz. He suggests the following technique to deal with anger, arguments, and frustrations:

before complaining or accusing or reprimanding someone or launching a counterattack in self-defense, ask yourself, “Is is really important?”

Whether it’s with a spouse, child, family member, stranger, or co-worker, the next time you feel like becoming angry, ask yourself, “Is is really important?” Chances are that it’s not and you’ll be able to forget about the frustration and move on. You’ll feel a newfound ownership over your emotions.

Try it and see. The next time your son fails to clean his room, that car cuts you off in traffic, or your spouse makes an inconsiderate comment, decide if it’s really worth getting angry about. I guarantee if you implement this technique you will eliminate most arguments and frustrations before they get out of hand.

 

REF: http://www.kevingivens.com/anger-management-tip-stop-arguments-and-frustration-before-they-start/


THE 10/90 PRINCIPLE

September 28, 2008

 

The 10/90 Principle



 

AuthorStephen Covey Management Guru

 

Have you read this before?o

 

Discover the 10/90 Principle. It will change your life (at least the way you react to situations). What is this principle?o

 

o10% of life is made up of what happens to you.. 90% of life is decided by
how you react. What does this mean?o

 

We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. We cannot stop the car from breaking down. The plane will be late arriving, which throws our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off in traffic. We have no control over this 10%. 
The other 90% is different.o

 

You determine the other 90%.o

 

How? By your reaction. You cannot control a red light., but you can control your reaction. Don’t let people fool you; YOU can control how you react.o

 

Let’s use an example.o

 

You are eating breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just what happened. What happens when the next will be determined by how you react.You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over.o

 

She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your spouse and criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish breakfast and get ready for school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work.o

 

You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles an hour in a 30 mph speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and throwing $60 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home, When you arrive home, you find small wedge in your relationship with your spouse and daughter.o

 

Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?o

 

A) Did the coffee cause it?o
B) Did your daughter cause it?o
C) Did the policeman cause it?o
D) Did you cause it?o

 

The answer is “D”o

 

You had no control over what happened with the coffee.
How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. Here is
what could have and should have happened.o

 

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry. You gently say, “It’s ok honey, you just need, to be more careful next time”. Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After grabbing a new shirt and your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments on how good the day you are having.o

 

Notice the difference?o
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.o

 

Why? Because of how you REACTED.o
You really do not have any control over 10% of what happens. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.o

 

Here are some ways to apply the 10/90 principle.o

 

If someone says something negative about you, don’t be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. You don’t have to let the negative comment affect you! React properly and it will not ruin your day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, getting stressed out etc.o

 

How do you react if someone cuts you off in traffic? Do you lose your temper? Pound on the steering wheel? A friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off)
Do you curse? Does your blood pressure skyrocket? Do you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive ten seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin your drive?
Remember the 90/10 principle, and do not worry about it.o

 

You are told you lost your job. Why lose sleep and get irritated? It will work out. Use your worrying energy and time into finding another job.The plane is late; it is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take out your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger.o

 

Why get stressed out? It will just make things worse. Now you know the 90-10 principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it.o

 

The 90-10 principle is incredible. Very few know and apply this principle.o

 

The result? Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and heartache.o

 

We all must understand and apply the 10/90 principle.o

 

It CAN change your life
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U MADE IT TO THE END, IMPRESSIVE…. LOL

 


6 Natural Therapies For Adult ADHD

September 28, 2008

 

 

Workers who have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) perform 22 days less work per year than people who don’t have the disorder, according to a research consortium at Harvard Medical School.

More than 7,000 employed and self-employed adults were screened for ADHD as part of the World Health Organization’s World Mental Health Survey Initiative. They were also asked about their performance at work in the last month. On average, 3.5 per cent of workers had ADHD. By extrapolating the data, those with ADHD were found to spend 22.1 more days per year not doing work compared to others without the disorder. This was made up of 8.4 days when they were unable to work or carry out their normal activities, 21.7 days of reduced work quantity and 13.6 days of reduced work quality.

Fortunately, adult ADHD can be addressed through natural therapies, including:

  • Fish Oil: Omega 3 fatty acids, abundant in fish oil, are crucial for proper brain function. I recommend two to three grams daily.
  • Meditation: Mindfulness meditation has been shown to help both adults and teens with ADHD.
  • Exercise: Regular physical activity has been shown to raise levels of dopamine, which can improve concentration and focus.
  • Additionally, adding into your healthy cereals fresh grains especially flax seeds, not only help mental ability in general but also help concentration.
  • Other foods recomended for concentration are: blueberries, prunes and mangos. Walnuts, bananas and strawberries are also good for memory and raising the mood. 
  • Cherries can help with insomnia which often can cause symptoms of ADHD or ADD to increase.
  • Finally, getting enough regular, scheuled sleep in important.  Going to sleep late and then sleeping in to make up for the hours you missed actually does more harm than good.  going to bed at a decent time and waking up early is healthier and better for the mind.

Feeling occasionally distracted, disorganized or forgetful is common in today’s sensory-overload culture, but if such feelings are continuous or severely impacting your life, consider consulting a mental health professional to see if you meet the clinical criteria for ADHD.

 

 

reference:

http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/WBL02107/3-Natural-Therapies-for-Adult-ADHD.html

 


BECOMING MUSLIM

September 27, 2008

William Burchell Bashyr Pickard (England)
Author, Poet and Novelist


 

 

About the Author:W. B. Bashyr Pickard B.A. (Cantab), L.D.(London) is an author of wide repute. His pen-production include: Layla and Majnun, The Adventures of Alcassim, A New World etc.

“Every child is born with a disposition towards the natural religion of obedience (i.e. Islam); it is the parents who make him a Jew, A Christian or a Magian.” —- a saying of Muhammad.

Having been born in Islam it was a good many years before I realized this fact.

At school and college I was occupied, perhaps too intensely, with the affairs and demands of the passing moment. I do not consider my career of those days brilliant, but it was progressive. Amid Christian surroundings I was taught the good life, and the thought of God and of worship and of righteousness was pleasant to me. If I worshipped anything it was nobility and courage. Coming down from Cambridge, I went to Central Africa, having obtained an appointment in the administration of the Uganda Protectorate. There I had an interesting and exciting existence beyond what, from England, I had ever dreamt, and was compelled by circumstances, to live amongst the black brotherhood of humanity, to whom I may say I became endearingly attached by reasons of their simple joyous outlook upon life. The East had always attracted me. At Cambridge I read the Arabian Nights. Alone in Africa I read the Arabian Nights, and the wild roaming existence I passed in the Uganda Protectorate did not make the East less dear to me.

Then upon my placid life broke in the First World War. I hastened homewards to Europe. My health broke down. Recovering, I applied for a commission in the Army, but on health grounds this was denied to me. I therefore cut losses and enlisted in the Yeomanry managing somehow or other to pass the doctors and, to my relief, donned uniform as a trooper. Serving then in France on the Western Front, I took part in the battle of the Somme in 1917, where I was wounded and made prisoner of war. I travelled through Belgium to Germany where I was lodged in hospital. In Germany I saw much of the sufferings of stricken humanity, especially Russians decimated by dysentry. I came to the outskirts of starvation. My wound (shattered right arm) did not heal quickly and I was useless to the Germans. I was therefore sent to Switzerland for hospital treatment and operation. I well remember how dear even in those days was the thought of the Qur’an to me. In Germany I had written home for a copy of Sale’s Koran to be sent out to me. In later years I learnt that this had been sent but it never reached me. In Switzerland after operation of arm and leg my health recovered. I was able to go out and about. I purchased a copy of Savary’s French translation of the Qur’an (this today is one of my dearest possessions). Therein I delighted with a great delight. It was as if a ray of eternal truth shone down with blessedness upon me. My right hand still being useless, I practised writing the Qur’an with my left hand. My attachment to the Qur’an is further evidenced when I say that one of the most vivid and cherished recollections I had of theArabian Nights was that of the youth discovered alive alone in the city of the dead, seated reading the Qur’an, oblivious to his surroundings. In those days in Switzerland, I was veritably resigne a la volonte de Dieu (Muslim). After the signing of the Armistice I returned to London in December 1918 and some two or three years later, in 1921, I took up a course of literary study at London University. One of the subjects I chose was Arabic, lectures in which I attended at King’s College. Here it was that one day my professor in Arabic (the late Mr. Belshah of Iraq) in the course of our study of Arabic mentioned the Qur’an. “Whether you believe in it or not,” he said, “you will find it a most interesting book and well worthy of study.” “Oh, but I do believe in it,” was my reply. This remark surprised and greatly interested my teacher in Arabic, who after a little talk invited me to accompany him to the London Prayer House at Notting Hill Gate. After that I attended the Prayer House frequently and came to know more of the practice of Islam, until, on New Year’s day, 1922, I openly joined the Muslim community.

That is more than quarter of a century ago. Since then I have lived a Muslim life in theory and practice to the extent of my ability. The power and wisdom and mercy of God are boundless. The fields of knowledge stretch out ever before us beyond the horizon. In our pilgrimage through life I feel assured that the only befitting garment we can wear is submission and upon our heads the headgear of praise and in our hearts love of the One Supreme.

Wal-Hamdu lil’ Lahi Rabbi ‘l-’Alameen

From “Islam, Our Choice”

http://media.isnet.org/off/Islam/New/pickard.html

SITES IN 3D

September 27, 2008
 
Sites in 3D
 

‘As if I’m there!..’

You too can visit these unique places: Just download and run the programs below. Once inside the program, move the mouse to the direction you want to look at. You can use the scroll wheel to zoom in and out. If there is no intervention for five seconds, the program will start showing you around automatically. To use the program as your screensaver press the F5 key. Press F9 to get a list of the 3D sites you downloaded (residing in the same directory) and load the one you like by moving the selection with the direction keys and pressing Enter. Click the left mouse button to jump to the closest (visible) site. Press F1 for help.

Maiden's Tower
Topkapi Palace Blue Mosque

TO SEE THESE SITES AND MORE CLICK ON THE LINK OPEN IN A NEW PAGE

 

http://www.3dmekanlar.com/sites.html


The Beauty of the last ten days of Ramadan

September 27, 2008

VERY EDUCATIONAL VIDEO ABOUT THE BENIFITS AND BEHAVIORS WE SHOULD HAVE DURING ALL OF THE MONTH BUT ESPECIALLY IN THE LAST TEN DAYS.


PAGES FROM THE QURAN

September 27, 2008

Have you ever really gone and picked up a Quran? Do you know what is written inside? Maybe its a “weird book with all kinds of scary religious nonsense of a people who worship some moon god and idol worshiping, with those strange prayers, and kissing a black stone and walking around a black box—- gee– their book must be just as weird!”

Well, here, I thought to put up every so often some pages which you can read and then you may judge for yourself.  In this section we can see how God discusses his favor upon upon Jesus.

 

108) On the Day when Allâh will gather the Messengers together and say to them: “What was the response you received (from men to your teaching)? They will say: “We have no knowledge, verily, only You are the All¬Knower of all that is hidden (or unseen).” (109) (Remember) when Allâh will say (on the Day of Resurrection). “O ‘Īsā (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary)! Remember My Favour to you and to your mother when I supported you with Rûh-ul-Qudus [Jibrail (Gabriel)] so that you spoke to the people in the cradle[] and in maturity; and when I taught you writing, Al¬Hikmah (the power of understanding), the Taurât (Torah) and the Injeel (Gospel); and when you made out of the clay, a figure like that of a bird, by My Permission, and you breathed into it, and it became a bird by My Permission, and you healed those born blind, and the lepers by My Permission, and when you brought forth the dead by My Permission; and when I restrained the Children of Israel from you (when they resolved to kill you) as you came unto them with clear proofs, and the disbelievers among them said: ‘This is nothing but evident magic.’ ” (110) And when I (Allâh) revealed Al-Hawârîyyun (the disciples) [of 'Īsā (Jesus)] to believe in Me and My Messenger, they said: “We believe. And bear witness that we are Muslims.” (111) (Remember) when Al-Hawârîyyûn (the disciples) said: “O ‘Īsā (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary)! Can your Lord send down to us a table spread (with food) from heaven?” ‘Īsā (Jesus) said: “Fear Allâh, if you are indeed believers.” (112)They said: “We wish to eat thereof and to satisfy your heart (to be stronger in Faith), and to know that you have indeed told us the truth and that we ourselves be its witnesses.” (113) ‘Īsā (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary), said: “O Allâh, our Lord! Send us from heaven a table spread (with food) that there may be for us – for the first and the last of us – a festival and a sign from You; and provide us sustenance, for You are the Best of sustainers.” (114) Allâh said: “I am going to send it down unto you, but if any of you after that disbelieves, then I will punish him with a torment such as I have not inflicted on anyone among (all) the ‘Alamîn (mankind and jinn).” (115) And (remember) when Allâh will say (on the Day of Resurrection): “O ‘Īsā (Jesus), son of Maryam (Mary)! Did you say unto men: ‘Worship me and my mother as two gods besides Allâh?’ ” He will say: “Glory be to You! It was not for me to say what I had no right (to say). Had I said such a thing, You would surely have known it. You know what is in my inner-self though I do not know what is in Yours, truly, You, only You, are the All-Knower of all that is hidden (and unseen). (116)“Never did I say to them aught except what You (Allâh) did command me to say: ‘Worship Allâh, my Lord and your Lord.’ And I was a witness over them while I dwelt amongst them, but when You took me up, You were the Watcher over them, and You are a Witness to all things. (This is a great admonition and warning to the Christians of the whole world). (117) “If You punish them, they are Your slaves, and if You forgive them, verily You, only You are the All¬Mighty, the All¬Wise[].” (118) Allâh will say: “This is a Day on which the truthful will profit from their truth: theirs are Gardens under which rivers flow (in Paradise) – they shall abide therein forever. Allâh is pleased with them and they with Him. That is the great success (Paradise). (119) To Allâh belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth and all that is therein, and He is Able to do all things. (120)


     

 


Alcoholism in America

September 26, 2008
Alcohol use is very common in our society. Drinking alcohol has immediate effects that can increase the risk of many harmful health conditions. 

Excessive alcohol use, either in the form of heavy drinking (drinking more than two drinks per day on average for men or more than one drink per day on average for women), or binge drinking (drinking more than 4 drinks during a single occasion for men or more than 3 drinks during a single occasion for women), can lead to increased risk of health problems such as liver disease or unintentional injuries.

According to national surveys, over half of the adult US population drank alcohol in the past 30 days. Approximately, 5% of the total population drank heavily while 15% of the population binge drank. Our national surveys previously defined binge drinking as more than 4 drinks for both men and women. 

In 2001, there were approximately 75,000 deaths attributable to excessive alcohol use. In fact, excessive alcohol use is the 3rd leading lifestyle-related cause of death for people in the United States each year. Alcohol use poses additional problems for underage drinkers. Don’t DRINK and DRIVE!

If you or someone you love is drinking too much, get help. Don’t wait.  Seek help from local clinics and visit sites like  www.alcoholandalcoholism.com

 


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