The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
`The most perfect believer in faith is the one whose character is finest and who is kindest to his wife.’
( Quotes on marriage from Tirmidhi and Nasa’i)
The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:
Such a wonderful short lecture on how a believer should be truthful between himself and God
This is a combination of lectures regarding women in Islam. They are very informational and motivational.. I hope you like it. A nice reminder is that Islam elevates the status of women through the hadith in which a companion came to the prophet pbuh asking: Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him, reported: A person came to Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) and said: Who among the people is most deserving my companionship (of a kind treatment from me?) He said: Your mother. He, again, said: Then who (is the next one)? He said: It is your mother (who deserves the best treatment from you). He said: Then who (is the next one)? He (the Holy Prophet) said: It is your mother. He (again) said: Then who? Thereupon he (The Prophet (peace be upon him)) said: It is your father.
|The sections of this article are:
1- Wife beating is not allowed in Islam!
Wife beating anytime and for any reason is never allowed in Islam. There is however a questionable condition where Allah Almighty seems to allow the husband to beat his wife, and that is after he gives her two warnings to stop showing ill-conduct and disloyalty.
Let us look at Noble Verses 4:34-36 “(34). Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all).
(35). If ye fear a breach between them twain, appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family, and the other from hers; if they wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation: For Allah hath full knowledge, and is acquainted with all things.
(36). Serve Allah, and join not any partners with Him; and do good- to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbours who are near, neighbours who are strangers, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (ye meet), and what your right hands possess: For Allah loveth not the arrogant, the vainglorious;”
The Arabic word used in Noble Verse 4:34 above is “idribuhunna”, which is derived from “daraba” which means “beat”. The issue with all of the Arabic words that are derived from the word “daraba” is that they don’t necessarily mean “hit”. The word “idribuhunna” for instance, could very well mean to “leave” them. It is exactly like telling someone to “beat it” or “drop it” in English.
Allah Almighty used the word “daraba” in Noble Verse 14:24 “Seest thou not how Allah sets (daraba) forth a parable? — A goodly Word Like a goodly tree, Whose root is firmly fixed, And its branches (reach) To the heavens”. “daraba” here meant “give an example”. If I say in Arabic “daraba laka mathal”, it means “give you an example”.
Allah Almighty also used the word “darabtum”, which is derived from the word “daraba” in Noble Verse 4:94, which mean to “go abroad” in the sake of Allah Almighty:
“O ye who believe! When ye go abroad (darabtum) In the cause of Allah, Investigate carefully, And say not to anyone Who offers you a salutation: ‘Thou art none of a Believer!’ Coveting the perishable good Of this life: with Allah Are profits and spoils abundant. Even thus were ye yourselves Before, till Allah conferred On you His favours: therefore Carefully investigate. For Allah is well aware Of all that ye do. (The Noble Quran, 4:94)“
So “daraba” literally means “beat”, or “go abroad”, or “give” but not in the sense to give something by hand, but rather to give or provide an example.
Important Note: Notice how Allah Almighty in Noble Chapter (Surah) 4 He used “daraba (4:34″ and “darabtum (4:94)”, which are both derived from the same root. He used both words in the same Chapter, which tells me that “daraba” in Noble Verse 4:34 means to desert or leave, since that’s what its derived word meant in Noble Verse 4:94. The next section below will further prove my point.
I am sure there are more Noble Verses that used words derived from “daraba” in the Noble Quran, but these are the only ones I know of so far. In the case of Noble Verse 4:34 where Allah Almighty seems to allow men to hit their wives after the two warnings for ill-conduct and disloyalty, it could very well be that Allah Almighty meant to command the Muslims to “leave” the home all together and desert their wives for a long time in a hope that the wives would then come back to their senses and repent.
Noble Verses and Sayings that support the prohibition of any type of wife beating:
The following Noble Verses and Sayings from the Noble Quran and Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him respectively seem to very well support the above interpretation:
“…Do not retain them (i.e., your wives) to harm them…(The Noble Quran, 2:231)“
Narrated Mu’awiyah al-Qushayri: “I went to the Apostle of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) and asked him: What do you say (command) about our wives? He replied: Give them food what you have for yourself, and clothe them by which you clothe yourself, and do not beat them, and do not revile them. (Sunan Abu-Dawud, Book 11, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Number 2139)“
Narrated Mu’awiyah ibn Haydah: “I said: Apostle of Allah, how should we approach our wives and how should we leave them? He replied: Approach your tilth when or how you will, give her (your wife) food when you take food, clothe when you clothe yourself, do not revile her face, and do not beat her. (Sunan Abu-Dawud, Book 11, Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Number 2138)“
Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) as saying: “He who believes in Allah and the Hereafter, if he witnesses any matter he should talk in good terms about it or keep quiet. Act kindly towards woman, for woman is created from a rib, and the most crooked part of the rib is its top. If you attempt to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it, its crookedness will remain there. So act kindly towards women. (Translation of Sahih Muslim, The Book of Marriage (Kitab Al-Nikah), Book 008, Number 3468)“
“O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may take away part of the dower [money given by the husband to the wife for the marriage contract] ye have given them, except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and God brings about through it a great deal of good. (The Noble Quran, 4:19)“
“And among God’s signs is this: He created for you mates from amongst yourselves (males as mates for females and vice versa) that you might find tranquillity and peace in them. And he has put love and kindness among you. Herein surely are signs for those who reflect. (The Noble Quran 30:21)“
“Women impure for men impure. And women of purity for men of purity. These are not affected by what people say. For them is forgiveness and an honorable provision. (The Noble Quran 24:26)“
Narrated Abu Huraira: “Allah’s Apostle said, ‘The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger. (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Good Manners and Form (Al-Adab), Volume 8, Book 73, Number 135)“
Narrated Abu Huraira: “A man said to the Prophet , ‘Advise me! ‘The Prophet said, ‘Do not become angry and furious.’ The man asked (the same) again and again, and the Prophet said in each case, ‘Do not become angry and furious.’ (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Good Manners and Form (Al-Adab), Volume 8, Book 73, Number 137)“
Abu Huraira reported: “I heard Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: One is not strong because of one’s wrestling skillfully. They said: Allah’s Messenger, then who is strong? He said: He who controls his anger when he is in a fit of rage. (Translation of Sahih Muslim, The Book of Virtue, Good Manners and Joining of the Ties of Relationship (Kitab Al-Birr was-Salat-I-wa’l-Adab), Book 032, Number 6314)“
Allah Almighty loves those who restrain anger: “Those who spend (freely), whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men; for Allah loves those who do good. (The Noble Quran, 3:134)“
The Prophet forbade striking on the face:
Let us look at the following narrations about Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him:
Narrated Salim: “….Umar said: ‘The Prophet forbade beating on the face.‘ (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Hunting, Slaughtering, Volume 7, Book 67, Number 449)“
Narrated AbuHurayrah: “The Prophet (peace_be_upon_him) said: When one of you inflicts a beating, he should avoid striking the face. (Sunan Abu-Dawud, Book 38, Prescribed Punishments (Kitab Al-Hudud), Number 4478)“
These narrations do not prove the interpretation that wife beating being ok as long as it is not done on the face, because the narrations are general and do not mention any wives. The striking could be done on our children when we discipline them. In this case, the above two narrations would fit perfectly with the situation, because while we can still physically discipline our children, we are not allowed to hit them on the face.
What about the saying about striking the wife lightly on her hand with a siwak?
There is not a single Saying or Noble Verse from Prophet Muhammad or the Noble Quran respectively that mentions any such beating.
A siwak is a small piece of wood that is approximately twice as long as an index finger and as thick as a thumb, which was used 1400 years ago to brush the teeth and the bad breath.
This saying actually belongs to Imam Shafie, and not to Prophet Muhammad. Imam Shafie or Minister Shafie is a popular Muslim scholar that came 100s of years after Prophet Muhammad. I used to have the reference information to his saying about this subject, but unfortunately I lost it. When I find it insha’Allah (if Allah Almighty wills it) I will post it.
More proofs about the translation of Noble Verse 4:34:
The following is an email that sent to me by brother A. Tilling; may Allah Almighty always be pleased with him.
I have visited the link and it was what I expected. But the question I am asking is a linguistic one, not one based on interpretations and jurisprudence. Here again is the extract I provided:
Note from me Osama Abdallah: Actually the Arabic word is not “adriboo” which is a plural for beating men. It is “idribuhunna” which is a plural for beating women. But the two Arabic words mean the same thing, which is “beating”.
Continuing with brother A. Tilling email….
The key to the problem is the mistranslation of the two key words nushuz and adriboo. Some of the possible meanings for both the words, according to the lexicon,3 are given below. Again, the appropriate meaning will depend on the context of the verse.
Nushuz: Animosity, hostility, rebellion, ill-treatment, discord; violation of marital duties on the part of either husband or wife.
Adriboo (root: daraba): to beat, to strike, to hit, to separate, to part.
In the context of the above verse the most appropriate meaning for nushuz is ‘marital discord’ (ill-will, animosity etc), and for adriboo is ‘to separate’ or ‘to part’. Otherwise, it is inviting the likelihood of a divorce without any reconciliation procedure. Such a step would blatantly contravene the Qur’anic guidance shown in verse 4:35 below. Therefore, a more accurate and consistent translation of the above verse would be:
(4:34) [...]as for those women whose animosity or ill-will you have reason to fear, then leave them alone in bed, and then separate; and if thereupon they pay you heed, do not seek a way against them.
The separation could be temporary or permanent depending on the reconciliation procedure. Such as construction is legitimate within the terms of the language and fits in very well with the divorce procedure outlined in the Qur’an (see 8.5).
The verse following the above verse gives further weight to the above translation.
(4:35) And if ye fear a breach between them twain (the man and the wife), appoint an arbiter from his folk and an arbiter from her folk. If they desire amendment Allah will make them of one mind. Lo! Allah is ever Knower, Aware.
Added weight to the meanings outlined above is given by verse 4:128 quoted below. Here, in the case of a man, the same word nushuz is used, but it is rendered as ‘ill-treatment’ as against ‘rebellion’ in the case of a woman as shown earlier in the traditional translation of verse 4:34. One find oneself asking whether since the ill-treatment is on the part of the husband, a process of reconciliation is here to be encouraged!
(4:128) If a wife fears ill-treatment (nushuz) or desertion on her husband’s part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; and such settlement is best[...]
This, obviously, is a double standard and the only way to reconcile the meanings of the two verses, in the contexts they are being used, is to accept the meaning of adriboo as: ‘to separate’ or to ‘part’. In this connection I would like to refer the reader to an excellent article by Rachael Tibbet from which I quote:
(a) Qur’anic commentators and translators experience problems with the term Adribu in the Qur’an not just in this verse but in others, as it is used in different contexts in ways which appear ambiguous and open to widely different translations into English. ‘Daraba’ can be translated in more than a hundred different ways.
(b) The translation of adribu as ‘to strike’ in this particular verse (4:34) is founded upon nothing more than:
(i) The authority of hadiths (Abu Daud 2141 and Mishkat Al-Masabih 0276) that this is what Adribu means in this context.
(ii) The prejudices and environment of the early commentators of the Qur’an which led them to assume that ‘to strike’, given the overall context of the verse, was the most likely interpretation of the many possible interpretations of adribu.
According to the Noble Quran and the Sayings of Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him above, wife beating in Islam is definetly prohibited, possibly even in the case where the wife fails after she was warned twice for her ill-conduct and disloyalty.
It is definetly a valid interpretation for Noble Verse 4:34 that Allah Almighty commanded the Muslim men to desert and leave their wives, and not to physically beat them as many scholars believe.
I personally favor this non-violent interpretation, because (1) It is very well supported in Islam as clearly and unquestionably shown above; and (2) It makes more sense and seems more practical in dealing with the bad wife who insists on showing ill-conduct and disloyalty toward her husband and family.
And Allah Almighty knows best, and may He forgive me if I made any mistake here.
Please email me at Osama Abdallah
this content was reposted from http://www.islamawareness.net/Wife/beating1.html
One day a man saw an old lady, stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her. Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so. Was he going to hurt her? He didn’t look safe; he looked poor and hungry.
He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was that chill which only fear can put in you.
He said, ‘I’m here to help you, ma’am. Why don’t you wait in the car where it’s warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson.’
Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire. But he had to get dirty and his hands hurt. As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn’t thank him enough for coming to her aid.
Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid. This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty, who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way. He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, ‘And think of me.’
He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.
A few miles down the road the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps. The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn’t erase. The lady noticed that the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Bryan..
After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin.
There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: ‘You don’t owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I’m helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you.’
Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.
Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard…. She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, ‘Everything’ s going to be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson.’
There were only 15 minutes left before Salat-ul Isha.
He quickly made Wudhu and performed Salat-ul Maghrib.
While making Tasbih, he again remembered his grandmother and was embarrassed by how he had prayed.
His grandmother prayed with such tranquillity and peace.
He began making Dua and went down to make Sajdah and stayed like that for a while.
He had been at work all day and was tired, so tired.
He awoke abruptly to the sound of noise and shouting.
He was sweating profusely.
He looked around.
It was very crowded.
Every direction he looked in was filled with people.
Some stood frozen looking around, some were running left and right and some were on their knees with their heads in their hands just waiting.
Pure fear and apprehension filled him as he realized where he was.
His heart was about to burst.
It was the Day of Judgment.
When he was alive, he had heard many things about the questioning on the Day of Judgment, but that seemed so long ago..
Could this be something his mind made up?
No, the wait and the fear were so great that he could not have imagined this.
The interrogation was still going on.
He began moving frantically from people to people to ask if his name had been called.
No one could answer him.
All of a sudden his name was called and the crowd split into two and made a passageway for him.
Two angels grabbed his arms and led him forward.
He walked with unknowing eyes through the crowd.
The angels brought him to the centre and left him there.
His head was bent down and his whole life was passing in front of his eyes like a movie.
He opened his eyes but saw only another world.
The people were all helping others.
He saw his father running from one lecture to the other, spending his wealth in the way of Islam.
His mother invited guests to their house and one table was being set while the other was being cleared.
He pleaded his case,
‘I too was always on this path..
I helped others.
I spread the word of Allah.
I performed my Salah.
I fasted in the month of Ramadhan.
Whatever Allah ordered us to do, I did.
Whatever he ordered us not to do, I did not.’
He began to cry and think about how much he loved Allah.
He knew that whatever he had done in life would be less than what Allah deserved and his only protector was Allah He was sweating like never before and was shaking all over.
His eyes were fixed on the scale, waiting for the final decision.
At last, the decision was made.
The two angels with sheets of paper in their hands, turned to the crowd.
His legs felt like they were going to collapse.
He closed his eyes as they began
To read the names of those people who were to enter Jahannam.
His name was read first.
He fell on his knees and yelled that this couldn’t be,
‘How could I go to Jahannam?
I served others all my life,
I spread the word of Allah to others’.
His eyes had become blurry and he was shaking with sweat.
The two angels took him by the arms.
As his feet dragged, they went through the crowd and advanced toward the blazing flames of Jahannam.
He was yelling and wondered if there was any person who was going to help him.
He was yelling of all the good deeds he had done, how he had helped his father, his fasts, prayers, the Noble Qur’an that he read, he was asking if none of them would help him.
The Jahannam angels continued to drag him.
They had gotten closer to the Hellfire.
He looked back and these were his last pleas.
Had not Rasulullah [SAW] said,
‘How clean would a person be who bathes in a river five times a day, so too does the Salah performed five times cleanse someone of their sins’?
He began yelling,
‘My prayers? My prayers? My prayers.?’
The two angels did not stop, and they came to the edge of the abyss of Jahannam.
The flames of the fire were burning his face.
He looked back one last time, but his eyes were dry of hope and he had nothing left in him.
One of the angels pushed him in.
He found himself in the air and falling towards the flames.
He had just fallen five or six feet when a hand grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back.
He lifted his head and saw an old man with a long white beard.
He wiped some dust off himself and asked him,
‘Who are you?’
The old man replied,
‘I am your prayers’.
‘Why are you so late! I was almost in the Fire!
You rescued me at the last minute before I fell in’.
The old man smiled and shook his head,
‘You always performed me at the last minute, did you forget?’
At that instant, he blinked and lifted his head from Sajdah.
He was in a sweat.
He listened to the voices coming from outside.
He heard the Adhan for Salat-ul Isha.
He got up quickly and went to perform Wudhu.